I have decided to release a collection of music, some of which is probably almost a decade old at this point. It is a compilation recorded by many different versions of myself. My singing voice changes drastically throughout the sixteen selected tracks, struggling to find who I truly am. It is a document far from perfection but one that hopefully captures the spirit of exploration. I have always been fascinated by the early work of recording artists. Bob Dylan trying to copy the vocal pacing of Woody Guthrie or Chuck Berry attempting to imitate Louis Jordan. Artists looking to their heroes for guidance. Trying to channel the gods that walked before them. In their failings, their true voices emerge. Style is not a strict adherence to form, but a failure to adapt to a norm. An unavoidable fact of looking or hearing something in a particular way.
I always hoped to turn these demos into a comprehensive album. I have tried many times and failed. I tried re-mixing them or re-recording a vocal take that was out of tune. Every time I made a change, though, it lost some of its innocence and some of its power. The beauty seemed to be in its shortcomings.
So, I decided not to re-mix or re-master anything. To avoid the temptation to make it more presentable. To some, this may seem lazy. I assure you this is not the case. I have spent countless hours trying to re-work these songs. I know they are better off this way. The flavor was already cooked into the food. Trying to re-work the dish is possible, but the chances of making it worse are higher than those of making it palatable.
Many of the included songs were recorded during my year battling cancer. Trying to re-capture the emotions associated with this time is a fruitless endeavor. Looking back is never the same as being inside a moment. One can sing a song from the perspective of someone, even themselves, going through chemotherapy, but it will never capture the horror of actually going through it.
Finally releasing these tracks to the public is a weight off my shoulders. I think that I was mourning them in a way. Dead songs long buried in the hard-drive graveyard. So, like the final song, 'The Lonely Living Dead,' I've decided to let them walk around and haunt someone else for a while. Enjoy!
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